Angsting

Ugh.
I'm tired, I'm sick, I'm stuck in a complete rut involving anything to do with art. I want to do pages, but just the sketching and layout of pages is taking me 5x longer than usual.

I REALLY want to work on King Me!, but I just keep feeling that it just doesn't look good enough. I'm going through one of those "my art totally sucks" stages, and i t's really taking a hit on me.

Just... I dunno. I wish I could go somewhere with these comics, 'cause I really love them, but I know it just won't happen. It's silly that one of my dreams is to see King Me! or Deus Ex Machina on the shelf with other OEL manga in Borders. But I can't help it. Art and writing are the only two things I really have a passion for, so comics seemed like the way to go, but I'm just not going strong enough.

I don't know what to do.

But, it's nice to see the popularity my comics have gotten. Sometimes I feel that half my fans are only fans because the story is BL, and not because of the actual story or characters I feel so much for, though. That's probably not it, but I've had people accuse me for only doing yaoi or BL or whatever only for the fans that come with it. Which is complete bullshit, by the way.

Angsting over.

Thanks for all the support, guys. I really appreciate it, no matter how much I complain. I jsut have a tendency to ride myself pretty damn hard. x_x

Comments:

AkiraYamamoto, 23 May 2007 12:13 am

Don't worry I don't just read it for the bl. I like the ideas you add and the art. I'm a writer and I've had the same problems.

Resalan, 23 May 2007 02:48 am

Aiiyy, thank you. x_X I appreciate the comment. <3

Kunimitsu, 23 May 2007 03:56 am

DUn worry lovey, I read the comic because your art is gorgeous, your characters are fun and the stories are great.
n3n
I hope you feel better soon.<3

tiirikka, 23 May 2007 05:38 am

As a advice... Ok, I'm not that much older than you and I suck as an artist, But I know good artists enough to say this: in day your completely 100% satisfied and insanely happy with your work, it's over. Because that well be the day when you stop drawing. After that there isn't any point to draw because you know it's going to be perfect so why even try?

I don't generally read BL because mostly the storylines suck, but still, I'm stalki8ng every comic you have here, so you must be pretty damn good. chin up, i'm rooting on you!

SockMarionette, 23 May 2007 06:15 am

Nuuu~ Don't angst! Well, angst, because angsting sometimes helps people feel a little bit better because they're getting all those nasty, depressing feelings out somehow. So, angst away until you feel better! All those negative and positive emotions that fuel the human body really do take a toll on the body. The more negative that's kept inside the worse you feel, so if you let it out, then all you have left is positive and the good feelings take over!

Wow. I sound so silly.

Anyway-- You're sick, take a break, breathe, get better. Don't stress yourself. [This may not help you feel better, buuuuut~] I'll admit-- I'm one of those strange people who go around looking for BL, and that's how I stumbled upon this comic. BUT. Regardless of how I found it, the only reason I'm still reading it is because I actually like the characters and I want to see where the story takes them. I don't read a lot of your regular romance stuff, because often times the girl is a naive little twit and the guy is some macho bad-ass and it just gets annoying [either that or we have a repeat of "MIAKA!" "TAMAHOME!" from Fushigi Yuugi, which was just crazy annoying to the point that Ceres ended up on my black list of manga.]

I like your comics because they're not cliche and I, at least, can tell that you actually feel for your characters through the comics. I'm the same way. I get picky with story ideas because I don't know if the character[s] made for that story would really like being in that story [or I could just be strange, which I am, so 'che.]

Anyway. I hope you start to feel better soon, and know that your fans will understand if you need to go on a hiatus of sorts to pull yourself together. It's touching that you care that we're waiting for updates, but we don't want to push you into stressing yourself just for the update. We're the audience-- you are the entertainer. You don't call off a show because an audience member is sick, right? You call off the show if the entertainer is sick.

Get some rest [I'm being repetitive]. Know that your fans love you for your art, your characters, and your story line and that, had Loyal been a girl, most of them would still be reading the comic, because it is just that wonderful.

Dark-Kyo123, 23 May 2007 01:35 pm

I love your stories. Not just for the BL but for the lovely art and story lines!In fact Deus Ex Machina is like my fav comic ever!And King me was the first comic i read on this site and i still love it!

Xx_hoshi_xX, 23 May 2007 04:52 pm

I read your comics because i find the stories interesting, i LOVE your art (is insanely jealous)and your characters are are wonderful. ( i adore Loyal and Nino) i have all three of your comics on my faves and its not for nuthin'
so cheer up we all go through these phases :P <3

Resalan, 24 May 2007 01:52 am

@Kunimitsu: Awwh, thank you. <3

@tiirikka: This is very true. I guess being unsatisfied with me work does just make me want to try harder... Or give up. But I'll ignore that option for now.
But it's flattering to hear you read all me comics despite the fact most BL are PWP? Makes me feel like I'm doing somethin' right.

@SockMarionette: ...Wow. THANK YOU. I really really appreciate it.
I actually go around looking for BL myself, but I get sort of picky once I find some. And oh my, you have reminded me of the Fushigi Yuugi syndrome. XD
Thank you so much. With school ending soon, I probably won't be stressing as much, so hopefully a hiatus won't have to occur.

@Dark-Kyo123: Thank yeeww! And to hear that Deus Ex Machina is so high on your comic list. @__@ <33

@Xx hoshi xX: Thank you as well! I appreciate it, and homg, you like Nino? -Hates Nino- xDD Well, not hate, but dislike currently. But thank you again!

Antares, 24 May 2007 03:36 pm

I remember making a journal entry where I actually did highlight the fact that some comics really do make a bl story without thinking of a plot or just in hopes that it'll get famous that way. Your stories are definitely not that. You put so much work and effort into your characters, plots, and drawings and create such great backgrounds for them. It's kind of hard to get into your stories for just BL in my opinion. XD

I remember looking into Deus ex Machina first. I think it was one of the first comics I faved on smackjeeves, too. I have such a hard time faving comics because there are too many PWP stories floating around. People just put them up.. they put no passion or time to create ideas for them, so they aren't much to me. But when I read the summaries and the first few pages, I got hooked.

Don't put yourself down, darling, you've got creativity, and that's something not alot of people have. ^-^ I'll support you no matter what you choose.
..
..well... maybe I'll bug you if you try something silly like giving up. XD But that's support for you! *hugs!*

Eternity (Guest), 25 May 2007 07:19 am

That's total crap what those people say. Okay for King Me! I was attracted to it because of the characters and not the plot. But for DEM thats totally not the case, it has a good plot going for it and the characters are just there to help the plot come to life. I swear some people i just wanna grab their big dummy dummy heads and *starts mubbling and pounding her fist into her hand* heh.....
*smiles* hurhurhur but having you draw such smexy characters is a bonus to the plot lines =3

Sabriel18 (Guest), 27 May 2007 12:23 am

I understand what you mean. I love to write stories, and like you, I want my stories to be perfect. I also hope that they are published, but I fear that I lack talent. That is where our similarities differ. You have a tremendous amount of talent. Please, do not sell yourself short or give up because I plan on continuing with my dream even if it leads me nowhere. I can only pray that you will do the same. sry for the rant and lecture. I am usually not so serious;)

EmCaCo (Guest), 27 May 2007 05:00 pm

Mansmex alone isn't enough to keep me going to a comic. I also have to like the art, characters, and story. I can't stand comics with no substance to them.
And I can tell that you've put a lot of effort into the comic, both the art and the characters.
I love Aimery's style of speech. Most people would think 'thou' is enough to make a character seem old-fashioned, but you put a lot more than that into it. I also like his name- aimer is the French verb "to love". It suits him perfectly. :)
Realistically, odds are there are a few girls out there who just want to see pictures of guys hugging or kissing or what-have-you and don't care about the story or characters. And these are the girls who basically want porn. Or a picturebook version of a sleazy romance novel.
But I think the majority of your fans do like the story and the characters, and watching the art and writing grow better and better.

I really sympathise with the art-suck phase, though. I'm going through one, and those kill motivation like a motivation-killing machine. Try experimenting and drawing things you never draw, or drawing along to music.
Take a break if it's needed. Sleep, get better, angst all you need. I look forward to updates, but I can wait until you're feeling better. :)

Resalan, 29 May 2007 01:50 pm

Eeek, I'm so late with responding! Blame Resa STILL being sick.

@Antares: Meep. Thank you, Antares! Your comments mean so much since I absolutely ADORE your comics and your art. So thank you again!
I hate how the PWP stories kind of drag the other BL stories around here just because they're the same genre. T_T;
Oh, and yes, if I try giving up (I tend to do that sometimes) bug the hell out of me. <_< And threaten to kill my cats or something. That should work.
<3

@Eternity: Hahah. XD King Me! is much more character orientated rather than plot orientated, while DEM is the other way around, so it makes sense. :3 But thank you!

@Sabriell8: Oh, don't apologize, it means a lot to me! Thank you so much. It helps to hear other people with the same sort of dilemma, especially knowing that they are pulling through with it. Really fuels your own ambitions sometimes. =3

@EmCaCo: Ohh! You analyzed Aimery's name some! Sorry, I love that. XD I've been wondering if some people pick up on why I give characters certain names in King Me!, 'cause a lot of them have to do with the character.
-Cough- Anyways. Thank you as well! You're right, the people that are just looking for the mansmex just want some porn, not much else.

Those bloody art-suck phases, I'm convinced every artist goes through them now. Guess the biggest thing is just to be able to pull through it and not give up. Thank you for the advice, and the motivation. <3

Alycia(Chai-green-alyce.devianta (Guest), 29 May 2007 04:20 pm

Poor Dear. I'm sorry your not well ressy...Allergies again or a cold?*pats* whatever it is I hope you feel better.

EmiIsRighteous, 03 Jun 2007 08:38 pm

I don't know if my opinion counts that much because I've just been on here for a day lurking around but...

Pretty sure you've heard this ten times over (old post) but I think your story shines out against the TONS (umm seriously 9/10 comics are shounen-ai) of BL comics on here. Just reading the summary I have never heard of a story like this and was like 'whoa i want to read this!!' xD I mean seriously I think i have made half of the comics on here... sorry but really (>__>)It doesn't mean they DON'T have talent i think it just means they like BL. XD;

anyway i think your comic's really unique e___e

Syn_Senielle, 10 Jun 2007 08:41 pm

*hugs* Aw. Cheer up. You don't suck at art. I love your style. I make up strange names for different styles... you have the long-whaaa style. The whaa just means it's mad pretty, and the long is how you do your faces, and I love that. I love how you do hair, and I abso-fucking-lutely love the outfits you come up with. (I really want those jammies that Aimery had. The ones with the bunny pants and the two-black shirt thing ^^ And, damn, I'm gonna steal all of Aimery's clothes. ^^)

If you feel that people only like this story because of the BL, I've got a story for you. The other day, I decided to show a friend (who despises BL and anything male x male) this comic. This guy's a bit of a homophobe, and I hate it about him, but I showed him it anyway. We basically just sat there and he read it, and I re-read it, and he really liked it.

I originally found this comic looking for BL. I'm a fan of BL 'cause I happen to be not-strait myself, and I like to read about different things. But, that's not why I read. That's just how I found you. Alright, after the search thing was over, I saw the artwork, and thought 'hmm, let's read this. It looks pretty. Let's hope it doesn't have a crap-tastic plot like a lot of shounen-ai I see'. Then, I started reading. I love how you bring your characters to life. I love the story line. Enough mystical stuff to make me happy, but not enough to be like 'good god, and this is in earth?'.

Your art and story line is fantastic, and your characters are a-fucking-mazing (I love Aimery the most, 'cause he's funny and cute and I want his wardrobe, which means he'll probably die since all my fav. characters die, but oh well.) Sure your art could be better (I can't see how) and your story could be improved, but you can only get better, even if we don't know how yet.

*Hugs* I understand the angsting. I think everyone's gone threw this period. I know I am as well, which happened as soon as I came here and saw all you awesome artists. I hope you feel better after reading this long ramble. If you ever wanna talk, I'm always... somewhere in this world, and can usually be talked to on this site or email.

Much love~ <3

Sammi (Guest), 21 Jul 2007 12:17 am

Personally, I don't read it because it's BL. Actually, I hardly read any comics that are. It's the story! It's such an imaginative, well written story with beautiful art! Hang in there, and you'll be able to take this comic places. ;)

SuperKawaiiPandaGirl, 09 Sep 2008 04:33 pm

You're right! Yes, Resa, you are absolutely correct! I go through the "art sucks" phase at least.. once a week. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating, but you get my point! You're probably well over this phase, now, since this messsage is like 2 years old, but whatever. I love nice comments anytime of the day.

Typically I don't read yaoi because it isn't my genre, but King Me! is different. I love the characters, or the ones I've read about so far, and the plotis very original! By the way, I know I'll sound like a dummy for asking, but what does "BL" stand for? I've never been able to figure that out. =D Thanks, and keep drawing! I'll have to check out your other comics as well...

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